And she just left for home. It's crazy that I'm blogging here and there.

Yep, she dropped by. Why? I was going nuts. I learned last night that I didn't get the position that I applied for. Not that I cared that much but a week or two of contemplation about it is insufferable. Plus, I didn't get the phone that I wanted. Oh well.

The highlight of the event was, she reread this story that I used to write. Just for the heck of wanting to feel a little bit of jealousy.

Jealous?!

Why would anyone wants to feel that? Especially her?

Maybe I won't be able to make her realize that all that I am now functions as because there is she.. -in my life.

How can anybody write passionately about somebody when all happens, the emotions and passion flow intricately when she is beside me? What more to say I can't stay engaged in her stare, with those eyes - eyes that drives me wild inside - eyes that makes me surrender to her will and command.

Everyday in my life now, almost a year this coming month, It's less that 20 days that I can count that I wasn't able to see her. And it still never fails. She still makes me gasp silently - stop - and fall all over again. I meant it when I fall.. everyday she makes me fall.. and she don't make it hard.

The other day, she showed up in the office - drunk. Pouring her heart out on how she don't know herself anymore. I honestly didn't know what to say.

Mentioning that she needs some time, I'm weary about WHEN she would need that time alone.

More so, How can I tell her that I can't make it alone? But I perfectly respect her needs. I will have to find things that will keep me busy by then. Maybe it's time to get in touch with long lost contacts? Or.. I don't know yet.

Question:

The moment that she askes for her time and serves it, am I gonna be ready to try standing alone?

This is like live torture.

Of course she wouldn't know this at all.